Why No One Listens to Preachers

Preachers have the job of speaking the truth of the bible into the lives of people. But, for the most part, no one is listening. The truth remains unheard.

What's the solution?

Some preachers seek to say it more loudly - then the truth will be heard. If they can just turn up the volume, people will listen to the vital message of scripture.

Some preachers try to say it with more style. They adopt the language, dress and actions of popular culture. They think that if they can just be cool enough, then people will listen to the message.

Some preachers try to say it with more logic. If people aren't paying attention, it must be because they just don't understand the point.They think a will constructed argument will get people to listen.

Some preachers try to say it with more emotion. If people aren't paying attention, it's because they don't feel the power and heart of the bible. They think that using heart-wrenching examples and touching stories will get people to listen.

But people still aren't listening to preachers? Why?

Because preachers don't listen to them.

I remember the first time I sat in a counseling session. I was in college and the young counselor was interning from a local graduate school. I'd never met her before the moment I was supposed to share my deepest struggles with her. I guess she missed the class on rapport building, or I brushed past it in my eagerness to "fix" the problem that took me into her office. For whatever reason, we got about half-way through the session and I found myself profoundly not caring. It wasn't that she was saying bad or unhelpful things, but I just didn't care what she had to say to me because I didn't know her at all. I had no reason to trust her opinion over my own.

Why should anyone trust a preacher's opinion over their own? Not because of the volume - there are a million messages, every day, that are louder. Not because of the style - at best we're mimicking what's cool, which just isn't cool. Not because of the logic or the emotion. No. There's not really a good reason for people to trust preachers who are struggling to be heard.

But when preachers strive to listen, when they seek to understand what the audience needs to hear, when they make it a conversation instead of a lecture - then people start to listen.

When, as a preacher, you can point out examples of conversations you've had with people in the audience (after asking their permission first, of course), or even invite the conversations during the sermon, you offer a glimpse into your relationship with the people. When you use questions to spark discussion - and really engage, not just wait for the other person to stop talking. When you admit that someone else might be right. When you let yourself be changed by the words of other people. Then, you've listened and you've earned the right to speak.

Listen to be heard.

How can you practice listening to your audience?

Start a Conversation with Your Sermon

Preaching isn't very popular. At least not among the younger crowd. There's this idea that preaching is inextricably tied to declarative truth which doesn't leave any space for differences of opinion. Since one person stands up and says words for an extended period of time, that precludes anyone else from sharing what they're thinking during that same time. Especially if that one person is also the lead pastor of the church and is in charge of the rest of what happens there, then it can seem rooted in authoritarianism.

The problem that most young people have with this is that they don't want to be told what to do. This is more than just the rebellion of youth, it's a shift in thinking away from trust in a central authority and toward trust in a community of peers. Both the Tea Party movement and the Occupy movement are essentially anti-authoritarian. They want the community to decide what is best for the community.

So, in that climate, what role is there for preaching?

It can function as a conversation starter. If the tact of the preacher is to provide information and context and then leave the conclusion open, that allows the community to work through the implications. It's not that preaching is dead, just that preaching as if the pastor has the final say on the interpretation of God and scripture is not popular with younger people. And why should the preacher assume that they have the right interpretation? The major concepts of theology have been debated for millennia with no conclusion in sight. It's a better choice to invite people to conversation instead of inviting them to share your pre-drawn conclusions.

How can you create space for conversation? What sermons have been most successful for you? Which ones have flopped?

Homosexuality and Sex

A part of the reason that the church thinks that homosexuality is such a huge sin is that most of us aren't convinced that sex isn't sinful. We're so influenced by our culture, both secular and Christian, that tells us that sex is sinful, naughty, bad and dirty. But it's also the be-all, end-all experience in human existence. We're given this dichotomous paradoxical view with no healthy way to talk about sex.

I applaud the Simple Marriage blog for talking about things in a open manner. We need more places where we can have open dialog about sex, what it means and what it doesn't mean.

On the side of sex as wrong, the church is afraid to talk about the beauty of sex and the way that it expresses intimate, vulnerable love between two people. We fear that somehow having a conversation about it will make everyone promiscuous or something. These are really awful vestiges of our Puritanical roots that we need to get over if we're going to be God's people in this world. Sex is a creation of God and is beautiful. We need to celebrate it as such. There's an entire book of the bible devoted to the beauty of sex (Song of Solomon, if you don't already know). God wants us to know about sex. But also notice that though sex isn't shied away from in scripture, it's not the center of attention either. One of the books is enough to cover it. Sex is good, but it's not the purpose of life.

On the side that thinks sex is the ultimate goal, we see an endless string of movies that show young men seeking their first sexual conquest so they can prove themselves men indeed. Sex is the object of their quest, the proof of their manliness and the purpose of life. But all along, sex is a joke as well. Dirty jokes abound so that there's no honest conversation about sex, but just a seeking after and joking about the act. Beer ads, TV shows and billboards all spout the message that sex is our ultimate goal, but it's also a joke.

Because of our unhealthy way of talking about sex we don't have a healthy way to talk about sexual dysfunction or sexual sin. Married couples all over have huge problems in the bedroom, and most of them aren't fixed by a little blue pill. Sexual problems are all over the place, primarily because we don't have a safe place to talk about them. So too with sexual sin. Look at all the pastors that are found with pornography addictions or get caught in an affair with a member of the church. We don't have healthy, safe ways to talk about sin and temptation, so sexual sin is pushed under the surface only to bubble to the top at the most inappropriate times.

In this climate, is it any wonder that we can't have an honest, productive conversation about homosexuality?

How could we foster a climate of conversation?

Conversational Preaching

Conversation is a powerful way to connect people. We don't normally sit and listen to one person lecture while everyone else is quite. Unless we're in church or school the normal mode of human operation is conversation. One person will share something and then a group will discuss it. Somehow we've gotten into this lecture/scholastic mode in churches where the sermon time is supposed to be the authoritative word to all the people in the church. What if it's not?

What if sermons are more conversational?

I first came across this idea when I read the book Preaching ReImagined by Doug Pagit. He suggested getting a group of people together to help plan a sermon. Basically the sermon would take shape in a small group setting and then get shared with the church. I've also read about churches that integrate Twitter and texting into the sermon process so the church can offer live feedback to the preacher during the sermon.

In my experience, though, the best way to have a conversation during a sermon is to just have a conversation during a sermon. I learned a lot about this from Ron Clark at the Agape Church of Christ. We would just have times of questions and sharing during the service and during the sermon. Some of the best conversation came over discussing the meaning of religious art.

Do you try to have conversational preaching? How do you do it?

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