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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Song Tournament - Sweet Sixteen

There were some crushing defeats yesterday and some stunning upsets. Let's get the round of sixteen under way.

Jingle Bells is the heavy favorite over the Hanukkah song, but Sandler pulls out not one, but two more renditions before it's over. Despite every Jewish celebrity reference possible, the strength and popularity of Jingle Bells carries them through.

Frosty the Snowman put on his game face (get rid of that pipe and replace it with vampire teeth left over from Halloween) and did what he could to silence the Night, but that round-virgin wouldn't be stopped. Ultimately Frosty folded under the pressure.

Zee Germans bring a ton of Christmas spirit, but The Most Wonderful Time of the Year pulled a George Washington and launched a sneak attack that took out O Tannenbaum.

Ave Maria swaggered in to face the 12 Days of Christmas and was severely beaten by the relentless attack. Those 12 days never seem to end, but somehow Ave was able to outlast and move on.

The other side of the bracket shows God Rest coming out strong against the powerful Hallelujah Chorus. Ultimately the victory went to the Gentlemen because Hallelujah's plays were just too difficult for most people. Maybe trying to get some professionals to play would have made the difference, but Hallelujah from amateurs was just painful.

The Little Drummer Boy didn't know what hit him. He was focused on keeping time and the Christmas Song just came up and roasted him. Next time Drummer, next time.

Rudolph and Santa in the grudge match that everyone has been wanting to see. Sure the jolly old elf gave Rudolph his big break, but since then, it has been virtual slave labor. Rudolph harnesses all of his pent up rage and demolishes Santa Claus is Coming to Town. It was ugly, folks.

Carol of the Bells and Ode to Joy tried to keep it classy, but in the end it came down to the fact that Ode had sold out. Every commercial, movie, and video game has a piece of Ode, not enough was left to stand up to Carol.

Tomorrow, see who moves on to the Final Four and the Championship Game.

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